Saturday, February 18, 2012

Insult-a-Group: FBIS

I intended to write a poorly constructed Finance, Banking & Investment Society insult when I started, but now I must deliver to you a poorly-constructed warning: FBIS WANTS TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

I visited FBIS's Web site and noticed a startling fact: They use 7.5-point font! Am I the only one shocked by this? It's simply Phase 1 of their plan!

What's Phase 2? Please, do not read on if you are faint of heart or are pregnant, because the news will shock you. They archive their newsletter in WORD format. You heard me! WORD format! It is obvious what FBIS is trying to do: decrease our eyesight by having us read 7.5- point font, hurting our eyes so much we won't be able to tell what files from the Web site we are opening. Then, as we go to casually check out what's new in this week's newsletter, WHAM! We're hit with a virus that spreads through our computers like wildfire.

FBIS will then have control over all technology. We will revert to a world with no computers, palm pilots or iPods. It will be like we're living in the olden days of 1986. FBIS can then enslave us for their fiendish plots, whatever they may be.

So the next time you're walking through Van Munching Hall and see FBIS selling muffins in a bake sale, walk away. That muffin could be a muffin of ANARCHY!!!

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